Let's Talk About Sex

I recently got into an argument with a friend about birth control. I take a biblical stance on birth control, believing natural methods are best for protecting life in all its stages. Contrary to my friend's belief about me and several former classmates, we do not agree with the "rhythm method"-- there is a big difference between preventing pregnancy by knowing which days you are fertile and guessing about which weeks you might be fertile! Her own family is a testament to true natural family planning, 6 kids spaced perfectly, just as her parents wanted them to be.

The number one comment I get from other women in discussing NFP? "That's not healthy for a marriage." They go on to tell me about how it is not healthy for married people to choose between not having sex for a week or so and having another baby. Couples should be able to have sex whenever they want.

Since when did unlimited sexual freedom rule Christian marriage?!

I'm all for Christians having robust, full love lives-- I think it both reflects and edifies a couples relationship and should be an act that is both meaningful and fun. But if the idea of having a period of chastity that lasts a matter of days is so inconceivable, I think we've fallen off the path to truth in our marriages.

It certainly reveals that we are a people who have lost our sense of cycles of time. I think there is beauty to be found in learning to control your body and passions, even as a married person. Paul talks about taking time away from sex for prayer and focusing on God. Sometimes life throws obstacles at us that force us into a time of abstinence-- illness, grief, physical separation, the eventual death of our spouse. What a blessing, in these times, if we've already practiced the discipline of chastity. And the other three weeks of the month... well, those are even better!

To disagree with my friend again, I am not casting fundamentalist judgment on her and the world! I do wish more Christian couples would sit down to consider these things, to talk about sex. And please visit the links to read up on NFP from people who are much smarter and eloquent than myself. Thanks for enduring this post :)

An NFP blog

"Contraception Misconceptions"

"It's time to talk honestly.." (a look at the difficulties of NFP)