Long Time Friends

We sing a song at Perkins Chapel called "Long Time Friends." We sing it to God, who is certainly the longest time friend we all have. Long time friends in other people, however, are often hard to come by.

As a philosophy major I learned that people become friends because of usefulness, pleasure, or goodness. Useful friends are the ones who have what you need at the time, I suppose. A study buddy, a work friend... sometimes even relationships that seem deep are merely one person using the other for company, as a warm body to talk to. Pleasure friendships make me think of those people you love to be around because they are so much fun. My friends in the knitting store in Nyack were like this-- we shared a common interest, swapped stories and advice-- even though we all came from different walks of life.

Now truly good friendships are few and far between, the kind of bond where you see the goodness in the other person and love them even if they stop being useful or fun. I only have a few good, longtime friends. They all live far away, but we still keep in close contact. In fact the distance between us has only proved that our common goals and love for each other are the base of our bond rather than convenience or good times. Friendships that spring from utility or pleasure are not bad, but I am thankful for those longtime friends who let me love them as they are and love me just as I am.

No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow. -Alice Walker