Poor Poor Pitiful Me

This is a hard issue worth posting about. It took me all of 24 hours to get over the shock of knowing Alan and I would be parents. After that it has been waves of elation, peace, wonderment, and curiosity. Like marriage, I will not kid myself into thinking that being a parent will be easy-- I'm sure it will be the hardest thing Alan and I do. But so many things in life are hard without any reward and from what I see the blessings of parenthood can be countless.

So you can imagine my shock and alarm when, upon discussing our upcoming bundle with people, I receive pity in response.

I think "Am I pitiful?" Maybe it is my age? But at 23 I've had a lot of good experiences that maybe many women in their early twenties haven't had. But should I be pitied for doing all that young and then wanting to move on and have a family? Hey, if I had never gone to seminary or had my wild days or left the mainland US then yes, I might have regrets. But I did all that, grew very weary of it, and now I'm ready for something different.

I have several friends who are firm in their decision to wait to have children. They are just not on the horizon for them. I wouldn't dream of judging them for that; they could never have kids and if that is the choice they feel is most fulfilling, that helps them best live out their calling to God, who am I to doubt or pity?

Hell, I feel like wonder woman! As most people try to, Alan and I are setting up our lives so we can try to have our cake and eat it too. Maybe at 50, when my kids are grown and I still managed to round out my education and fulfill many life goals (and maybe even be a grandma by then), the pity people will get off my back. Until then I'll take it with a smile and a nod and keep feeling on top of the world.