Today's trip to the urologist (I think that is one of the ugliest words) left me with more pain medication and anti-inflammatories. He said it can take a couple weeks of agony for a stone to pass. If it is not gone by next week, they may need to break it up or take it out.
The one blessing is that the medication this time is not making me sick-- I feel floaty, which I don't like, but at least I've been spared the really bad pain all afternoon.
I promise to write something on the lighter side for my next post.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Kidney Stones Revisited
I am at my wits end. I have work to do, the house needs cleaning, and I can hardly think about anything but the pain. At least right now it is at a point where I can sit still and it isn't quite so stabbing-- yesterday morning I went through the rolling around in agony/crying out to God/screaming into my pillow/throwing up stage-- that was on and off yesterday and today it seems to be a small stab rather than the kind of pain that makes me want to die.
Please pray for me. Just pray it will pass on its own. We are not insured and live like most other seminarians, hand to mouth, so I cannot flippantly go to the hospital. I feel okay otherwise (if that is even possible at this point) and have no fever so no need to worry. But I want it to be over soon.
Any advice from other sufferers out there is surely appreciated.
Please pray for me. Just pray it will pass on its own. We are not insured and live like most other seminarians, hand to mouth, so I cannot flippantly go to the hospital. I feel okay otherwise (if that is even possible at this point) and have no fever so no need to worry. But I want it to be over soon.
Any advice from other sufferers out there is surely appreciated.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Like A Rolling Stone
I grew up hearing about the terrors of kidney stones. There was the story of my Grandpa Jim driving up from Texas to New Jersey and getting stranded in Tennessee because a stone left him in no position to drive. Then there was my Uncle Joe explaining the contortions he went through trying to relieve the pain his kidneys. And my mother always told me it was worse than labor.
For the past six years I've been attacked on a regular basis by these awful little buggers that painfully make their way through my body. At the height of the pain I think of strange things-- I see the angriest shades of yellow and gray, remember lines to poems I memorized as a kid, think about throwing myself off of high places. You cannot sleep, do not want to eat, and cannot put the pain from your mind for even a minute.
This latest bout is not quite that bad-- maybe the stones aren't as pointy, or perhaps they are sitting in a better spot than usual. But still, how many glasses of water can you drink in a day (the doctor says I need to drink at least 3.5 liters)? How long can a stupid hunk of sediment torture your insides? I hope my little stones roll on soon.
For the past six years I've been attacked on a regular basis by these awful little buggers that painfully make their way through my body. At the height of the pain I think of strange things-- I see the angriest shades of yellow and gray, remember lines to poems I memorized as a kid, think about throwing myself off of high places. You cannot sleep, do not want to eat, and cannot put the pain from your mind for even a minute.
This latest bout is not quite that bad-- maybe the stones aren't as pointy, or perhaps they are sitting in a better spot than usual. But still, how many glasses of water can you drink in a day (the doctor says I need to drink at least 3.5 liters)? How long can a stupid hunk of sediment torture your insides? I hope my little stones roll on soon.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Good and Evil
Last night Father George discussed good and evil with our RCIA class. He discussed the view of St. Thomas Aquinas (and the Church) that evil is not its own thing, rather it is at the lowest end of the spectrum of goodness. I learned this as a philosophy student (and then quickly forgot) that evil is the lack of goodness. Fr. George also explained that the more evil we become the less human we are-- to be truly human is to perfectly reflect the goodness of God. (Very encouraging for someone raised to believe we are all piles of poop that can only come close to holiness when Jesus covers us with Himself, that we are never quite capable as humans to be holy).
I think I often get caught up in Buddhist-type thinking-- if I can just detach myself from my passions, emotions, desires, needs I will be able to live faithfully. But nothing could be further from the truth. Rather than losing our passions, I think we are called to order them. It is good to want "earthly" things like food, sex, work that makes us happy, healthy children, good friendships. But all our desires need to be in submission to the Spirit less they turn into sin; the desire for food without self-control turns to gluttony, the need for material things like clothing and shelter without reason becomes avarice, and so on. You see? The lack of goodness is exactly what evil is.
I don't know if that is very clear, but I find knowing this shores me up against a number of different trials. To know that our desires are not something to overcome but something to offer to God so He may use them to His honor is, to me, a sweet relief.
"And the knowledge of evil serves that of good and the knowledge of good is sharpened and ruled by that of the evil, and is made wise in all things by it." -Hildegard Von Bingen
I think I often get caught up in Buddhist-type thinking-- if I can just detach myself from my passions, emotions, desires, needs I will be able to live faithfully. But nothing could be further from the truth. Rather than losing our passions, I think we are called to order them. It is good to want "earthly" things like food, sex, work that makes us happy, healthy children, good friendships. But all our desires need to be in submission to the Spirit less they turn into sin; the desire for food without self-control turns to gluttony, the need for material things like clothing and shelter without reason becomes avarice, and so on. You see? The lack of goodness is exactly what evil is.
I don't know if that is very clear, but I find knowing this shores me up against a number of different trials. To know that our desires are not something to overcome but something to offer to God so He may use them to His honor is, to me, a sweet relief.
"And the knowledge of evil serves that of good and the knowledge of good is sharpened and ruled by that of the evil, and is made wise in all things by it." -Hildegard Von Bingen
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Minutia
Lucy finger painted for the first time today! She especially liked making hand prints across the page. I remember from somewhere (babysitting? school?) that a drop of soap in the paint makes it easier to clean up and it worked well.
I bought an exercise band yesterday to strengthen my knees for a less painful run. The band came with a pilates DVD. I failed miserably at pilates in college but will try again. My friend Meredith tried to encourage me to cross train once by saying dancing counts. So when my sister is here next month we are going to learn that sassy Beyonce dance from the Put a Ring On It video (don't laugh!). Anyone tried it?
We still have not heard from the PhD program and all sorts of drama is going on concerning it. I don't want to talk about it now, so you can ask if you want to know :(
And I am terrible these days about Yahoo! Answers-- it is addicting, giving half unsolicited advice. I love answering the pregnancy and religion questions (it is a good way to simultaneously and anonymously take out my frustration with hot headed atheists and offer breastfeeding tips). Two Strings and a Can is weird, and I think I am the only sober person who participates, but is also fun. I came across that by googling "asdfjkl;" and then going to asdfjkl;.com .... too much time on my hands the last few days!
I bought an exercise band yesterday to strengthen my knees for a less painful run. The band came with a pilates DVD. I failed miserably at pilates in college but will try again. My friend Meredith tried to encourage me to cross train once by saying dancing counts. So when my sister is here next month we are going to learn that sassy Beyonce dance from the Put a Ring On It video (don't laugh!). Anyone tried it?
We still have not heard from the PhD program and all sorts of drama is going on concerning it. I don't want to talk about it now, so you can ask if you want to know :(
And I am terrible these days about Yahoo! Answers-- it is addicting, giving half unsolicited advice. I love answering the pregnancy and religion questions (it is a good way to simultaneously and anonymously take out my frustration with hot headed atheists and offer breastfeeding tips). Two Strings and a Can is weird, and I think I am the only sober person who participates, but is also fun. I came across that by googling "asdfjkl;" and then going to asdfjkl;.com .... too much time on my hands the last few days!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Waiting Waiting Waiting
Some good news: our third nephew was born yesterday! Little Jackson Mostrom is healthy and seems pretty happy so far (and very cute in my opinion). Mom is fine, all is well. We'll meet him next month when we spend some time in WA.
Other than that, all we've been doing is waiting to hear back from Ave Maria about Alan's PhD program. We attack the poor mailman every day hoping he has a letter in hand. Nothing. The admissions lady won't answer her phone. If it is bad news I'd rather just know; if Alan was accepted I'd like to know when we're moving.
Either way, I think we will celebrate or console ourselves with a dinner at Red Lobster whenever we finally hear back. Cheese biscuits make so many things better.
"And we'll drink and dance with one hand free
And have the world so easily
And oh we'll be a sight to see
Back in the high life again..." -Steve Winwood
Other than that, all we've been doing is waiting to hear back from Ave Maria about Alan's PhD program. We attack the poor mailman every day hoping he has a letter in hand. Nothing. The admissions lady won't answer her phone. If it is bad news I'd rather just know; if Alan was accepted I'd like to know when we're moving.
Either way, I think we will celebrate or console ourselves with a dinner at Red Lobster whenever we finally hear back. Cheese biscuits make so many things better.
"And we'll drink and dance with one hand free
And have the world so easily
And oh we'll be a sight to see
Back in the high life again..." -Steve Winwood
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Natural, Cheap, and Homemade
With the springy weather we had the past few days I felt alive once again. I'm really just no fan of the cold. So, along with improving my running routine I've been busy with new things around the house...
1) Freezer jam. For only a few dollars I bought freezer jam plastic jars and pectin at Kroger. Between manager's special strawberries and blackberries I had in the freezer (which survived the ice storm!) I was able to make 5 jars of jam. It'll last in the freezer for up to a year and thawed out in the fridge for 3 weeks. Right now I am enjoying the blackberry jam that I picked and prepared. Yum.
2) Felt board. For Lucy's Easter basket I'm going to make a felt board. Since she's too little for Easter candy but we still wanted to fill and hide eggs, Alan and I decided to fill her eggs with all the little shapes she can use on her board. I think she'll have fun with it and it is rather economical, if I do say so myself.
3) Baking soda. I'll tell you, nothing gets the stainless sink clean like baking soda AND it keep the drains from smelling funky. I've also used it to wash my hair this week-- a friend of mine who lives on the seminary campus said many of the ladies there are forgoing shampoo for a baking soda and hair oil routine. I have to say my hair feels better. I've never found a shampoo I like so maybe this is a long awaited answer to my bad hair days.
Now since it is cold today I'm curious to see if the next warm spell brings on another downpour of frugal inspiration.
"It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!" ~Mark Twain
1) Freezer jam. For only a few dollars I bought freezer jam plastic jars and pectin at Kroger. Between manager's special strawberries and blackberries I had in the freezer (which survived the ice storm!) I was able to make 5 jars of jam. It'll last in the freezer for up to a year and thawed out in the fridge for 3 weeks. Right now I am enjoying the blackberry jam that I picked and prepared. Yum.
2) Felt board. For Lucy's Easter basket I'm going to make a felt board. Since she's too little for Easter candy but we still wanted to fill and hide eggs, Alan and I decided to fill her eggs with all the little shapes she can use on her board. I think she'll have fun with it and it is rather economical, if I do say so myself.
3) Baking soda. I'll tell you, nothing gets the stainless sink clean like baking soda AND it keep the drains from smelling funky. I've also used it to wash my hair this week-- a friend of mine who lives on the seminary campus said many of the ladies there are forgoing shampoo for a baking soda and hair oil routine. I have to say my hair feels better. I've never found a shampoo I like so maybe this is a long awaited answer to my bad hair days.
Now since it is cold today I'm curious to see if the next warm spell brings on another downpour of frugal inspiration.
"It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!" ~Mark Twain
Sunday, March 8, 2009
The Trimmings at Church
We were a little late for church this morning so the ushers escorted us to the only space available: right up front. Sitting up front is great for Lucy-- she is always quieter when she can see what is going on. But for me it is a bit of a distraction.
You see, most people seem to stare at the windows or statues in church when they're not paying attention. Being a crafter, I get terribly side tracked by the needlework. The crocheted edging on the cloth that covers the communion chalice, the openwork on deacon Frank's robes, the purple-edged lace that adorns the tablecloth, even the details on the clothes the little statues of Mary and Jesus wear are too much when I can see them in detail!
I wonder: did lay women or nuns make them? Is that lace cut out by hand or pressed out on a machine? Did the church special order these? Can I make altar cloths? Is there a special place you have to buy the materials so everything comes out just the right color? And so on. Sometimes I'm tempted to feel superior-- there must be something better about thinking about doing handiwork in church than just staring at a window! But a distraction is a distraction and I should save my speculation about thread and yarn for another time and concentrate on the sermon...
"All my scattering moments are taken up with my needle." ~Ellen Birdseye Wheaton
"Methinks it is a token of healthy and gentle characteristics, when women of high thoughts and accomplishments love to sew." ~Nathaniel Hawthorne"
You see, most people seem to stare at the windows or statues in church when they're not paying attention. Being a crafter, I get terribly side tracked by the needlework. The crocheted edging on the cloth that covers the communion chalice, the openwork on deacon Frank's robes, the purple-edged lace that adorns the tablecloth, even the details on the clothes the little statues of Mary and Jesus wear are too much when I can see them in detail!
I wonder: did lay women or nuns make them? Is that lace cut out by hand or pressed out on a machine? Did the church special order these? Can I make altar cloths? Is there a special place you have to buy the materials so everything comes out just the right color? And so on. Sometimes I'm tempted to feel superior-- there must be something better about thinking about doing handiwork in church than just staring at a window! But a distraction is a distraction and I should save my speculation about thread and yarn for another time and concentrate on the sermon...
"All my scattering moments are taken up with my needle." ~Ellen Birdseye Wheaton
"Methinks it is a token of healthy and gentle characteristics, when women of high thoughts and accomplishments love to sew." ~Nathaniel Hawthorne"
Friday, March 6, 2009
Disney + Kill Bill 2 = 7 Miles
As many of you know I am attempting to run in the Louisville half marathon this April. Cold weather and traveling threw me way off my training plan so this week I realized I'd have to step things up or forget about it.
Usually I run 3 miles at a time, sometimes 5 on the treadmill. I'm terrible at psyching myself up for running. On Monday I set out to do at least 4 miles at the gym and only ran 3.
Rather than beat myself up about it I spent the first 3 miles of my Wednesday jog thinking about MIA's "Paper Planes," Katherine Zeta Jones in Entrapment ("I'm one hell of a climber"), the training sequence in Mulan and Beatrix Kiddo's time with Pai Mei, telling myself there was a bearded man with a stick who'd whack me on the head if I hesitated. And I made it to 5 miles no problem.
So today I psyched myself up, brought along my clunky walkman with a Steely Dan CD, and completed two times around the 5k course in Wilmore before I ran back home. 7 miles! On Monday I couldn't make it past 3! So I've put in 15 miles for the week and am back on track with my training plan, and the half marathon finally seems within my reach.
"Just like all Yankee women, all you are good at is ordering in restaurants- and spending a man's money!" -Pai Mei
Usually I run 3 miles at a time, sometimes 5 on the treadmill. I'm terrible at psyching myself up for running. On Monday I set out to do at least 4 miles at the gym and only ran 3.
Rather than beat myself up about it I spent the first 3 miles of my Wednesday jog thinking about MIA's "Paper Planes," Katherine Zeta Jones in Entrapment ("I'm one hell of a climber"), the training sequence in Mulan and Beatrix Kiddo's time with Pai Mei, telling myself there was a bearded man with a stick who'd whack me on the head if I hesitated. And I made it to 5 miles no problem.
So today I psyched myself up, brought along my clunky walkman with a Steely Dan CD, and completed two times around the 5k course in Wilmore before I ran back home. 7 miles! On Monday I couldn't make it past 3! So I've put in 15 miles for the week and am back on track with my training plan, and the half marathon finally seems within my reach.
"Just like all Yankee women, all you are good at is ordering in restaurants- and spending a man's money!" -Pai Mei
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Antisocial Homeschoolers... oh Please!
Just to get it out there-- homeschooling DOES NOT inhibit socialization. Period. I am very weary from hearing this from people who were not homeschooled-- you don't know! At RCIA I found out a classmate of mine homeschooled her three boys, two of them now grown and working. In the middle of debating a Great Books ciriculum versus Sonlight, another classmate pipes up about "Well that is all great, but all the homeschoolers I know are isolated." The homeschool mom's story about her son driving himself to New Mexico for college (and hardly coming back!) at 18 did not sway her, nor my insistence that I had hours everyday to hang out with friends once I stayed home if I chose.
I was a public school student too and, frankly, never thought there was all that much time to socialize. At lunch? Recess? Passing notes in class? I'm a talker and was always scolded in school for talking too much-- public school is the proper outlet for a child who likes to chat and visit with people? Hardly. That doesn't mean public school in the devil, but I'm tired of people trying to press on me the superiority of a school-based social network. Fellow homeschoolers, I will take your challenges but people who never experienced it, PLEASE do not knock it till you've tried it :)
PS And bringing up homeschoolers you "know" is no argument. It would hardly be appropriate if I based my opinion of Baptists on most of the Baptists I know, or my idea of the wealthy on most of the wealthy people I know.... I hardly assume that those I've encountered from a particular group are a fully representative cross section!
I was a public school student too and, frankly, never thought there was all that much time to socialize. At lunch? Recess? Passing notes in class? I'm a talker and was always scolded in school for talking too much-- public school is the proper outlet for a child who likes to chat and visit with people? Hardly. That doesn't mean public school in the devil, but I'm tired of people trying to press on me the superiority of a school-based social network. Fellow homeschoolers, I will take your challenges but people who never experienced it, PLEASE do not knock it till you've tried it :)
PS And bringing up homeschoolers you "know" is no argument. It would hardly be appropriate if I based my opinion of Baptists on most of the Baptists I know, or my idea of the wealthy on most of the wealthy people I know.... I hardly assume that those I've encountered from a particular group are a fully representative cross section!
Monday, March 2, 2009
A Good Sunday
Yesterday we celebrated the beginning of Lent and our journey towards becoming Catholic with the Rite of Election at the cathedral in Lexington. The cathedral itself is lovely, very 1960's with long stained glass windows that looked like the most fantastically knitted scarves and wooden carvings of the saints that seemed straight from 14th century illuminations.
Bishop Gainer preached about our continuing conversion as Christians, and heartily welcomed all of us candidates and catechumen. The catchumen signed their names in the diocese's book of election and all of us had a chance to stand up in the sanctuary where the bishop blessed us. There were so many people there, though Fr. Bush claimed some years there were twice as many (I'd say at least a couple hundred people between both groups).
I'm grateful to our sponsors, Tom and Pamm, for leading us through this time. Alan and I are both so excited to step into the stream of the Catholic Church, to show our solidarity with the people who trace their line, unbroken, back to the apostles. As with marriage, this is a lifetime comittment for better or for worse.
Bishop Gainer preached about our continuing conversion as Christians, and heartily welcomed all of us candidates and catechumen. The catchumen signed their names in the diocese's book of election and all of us had a chance to stand up in the sanctuary where the bishop blessed us. There were so many people there, though Fr. Bush claimed some years there were twice as many (I'd say at least a couple hundred people between both groups).
I'm grateful to our sponsors, Tom and Pamm, for leading us through this time. Alan and I are both so excited to step into the stream of the Catholic Church, to show our solidarity with the people who trace their line, unbroken, back to the apostles. As with marriage, this is a lifetime comittment for better or for worse.
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